Apr 14, 2018

Clarity

Timing is everything or it can be nothing at all.

I know.

I know that it’s divinely inspired, motivated and guided, this love. I know it, that feeling, that one rarely felt feeling.

There is that.

That feeling is real, true, real true.

It will be ok, it’s destined. So whether we get it together, or don’t, it’ll be ok.

I’m not afraid of rejection anymore, but I most likely won’t teach beyond this, I have my ego’s pride.

I put it out here for you to see, again, I risk being made a fool, it never bothered me before.

I am worried, but I’m not a fool.  (Truthfully eschewed writing, is beginning to make my stomach hurt.)  It never bothered me before because I knew that feeling was real, the signs were true. I just knew it inside my core, but the timing?

I also know some karmic situations are crazy.

I’m sorry for that.

I’d rub your head if I could.

Know that.


Apr 9, 2018

Skip it, it’s the same old, same old

Seriously, it’s all about healing. Healing takes time.

Timing is important.  Trust that when the time is right, it’ll be known.

Having faith in the healing process and the knowing.

I’ve waited this long.

 I’ve got a lot to do to fill the time; I’m never short of fun things to do.

Time and experience have taught me to take my time.

I’m not rushing or forcing anything.

I’m not.

I’m content gathering myself up.

I know I’m good company.

After untangling myself from the mess I was in, I’m appreciating my freedom.

Know that.

I’m projecting a vibe, it says, I won’t be trifled with.

I won’t.

Anyone trying to approach me with bullshit is gonna get it handed back to them, with the view of my ass shortly to follow, fully clothed.

Anyone trying to offer less than they take can peddle that big bag of nothing to someone else. Though I don’t wish that on anyone really.

I won’t waste my time with vampires or the mentally ill, I’ll pray they get help and point them in the right direction if they want me to.

I’m not just talking about love. There are a lot of emotional vampires who get off on using people, out there. I’ve cut them off, especially if all they are,  to me, is a huge pain in the ass, and or hateful,  they’re out a here, and my life has become much more pleasant and satisfying.

Boundaries are a necessary component to life.

Horror vaccui

Fear of emptiness...not anymore,

Fear of pregnant silence...not anymore.

He left Tuesday night.

I pray he finds happiness.

I have my mojo back, but more importantly, my life, my future, my spirit.

I feel drained.

I've learned the karmic lesson.

I kicked the test's ass.

I am the leader of the red flag patrol.

Meet me in the middle, between here and Kansas?

Apr 6, 2018

i love

I am healing, nurturing, and balancing my life first.

I am taking care of business in my life and letting everyone else take care of their own business.  

I love people who take care of their own stuff.

I love people who lift other people up.

I love people who speak well of other people.

I love people who make life better for themselves and others.

I love honest people.

I love people who give as well as take.

I love independent people.

I love people who do their part.

I have a closed sign on my forehead.  I'm no longer open for being used, in any form.

I love people who value what I do artistically, they realize that they can't do what I do and are willing to pay me what I'm worth to do it for them.  I love those kinds of people.

I love people who look at life with a positive attitude.

I love people who are kind.

I love people who are high energy.

I love people who take pride in a job well done.

I love people who have a lot of energy.

I love people who vibrate at the same frequency as me or even higher.

I love people who dig my vibe.


Mar 29, 2018

I dig the Clash

https://youtu.be/xMaE6toi4mk

Always have, ok not that Casbah song, the way it sounds, but the intent was cool.  Rebels, with lots of causes, Tory rage too, raw energy, lose, like not tight, not perfect. Raw visceral demanding, angry, vibration of  sound, with a message. I didn’t say clashing.

Commissions coming in, an artwalk to prepare for, a tiny house to fashion, compost toilets to make, murals to paint, mosaics to create, walls to paint, floors to refinish, and I’m not overwhelmed, naaa I’m excited because when you “do” what you love, it’s not work, it’s play!

https://youtu.be/qzLDsg70-JQ

Little feet...love

Mar 25, 2018

Will date for sandwiches?

This guy I met at the Uriah Heep concert with Becky has been texting me. He’s fun, keeps offering to buy me dinner, as if I’m motivated by food. lol. Wonder how he knew?

He seems like a nice enough guy, looks like Negan from the walking dead, sort of, and seems fun, but I really just need to get my poop in a pile, not jump back into, whatever.

My students used to say Brad looked like Rick Grimes, now this guy looks like Negan...sort of weird, and when I told him, he acted like he didn’t know who I was talking about. An actual person who hasn’t seen the walking dead?  Unlikely, and more likely playing stupid.

I may be going to kc next weekend for another nuckleheads concert...I may or may not let him know.
Becky thinks he’s fun, she’ll peobably call him. Lol

Mar 24, 2018

Got good vibes?

Emotions

Sometimes I suppress them, minimize them, or ignor  them completely. Telling myself something doesn’t bother me when it does, very much, bother me.
Angry? Me?
Yeah, and most likely. Oh sometimes, yeah.  I’m not proud of it, my anger, but I am proud of my humanness, I am human, sometimes I feel angry.
As a human, in this life,
I mostly focus on the people and things who, and that, I love.

I’m feeling my way through some Sh...stuff right now. Emotions mostly, surpressed especially, letting them go in the shower, that a way there are no witnesses, and the rage, pain and paint too, self disappointment, (for not standing up for myself, ironically making me kick my own ass in the shower, who am I lying to? I take baths.) dissipates, rolls off and sucks it’s way down the drain.

Suppressing anger, loathing and fear...not a great thing. Facing things head on, gets my adrenaline thumping. Yeah I meant thumping. I like it. Insight, meditate my way inside, into self, bringing back the eternal essence of who I am. I’m not running or hiding.
I am my truth, I am me.
Content in this body electric, this spirit/consciousness is.

Know thy self, for in thee lies the true treasure of treasures.

Thank you mom.

Practicing forgiveness of others, and of self.  I’m choosing love and practicing compassion understating and mercy.

Mar 23, 2018

I need a medic stat

My intuition tells me so, that’s what.
What?
Oh, you know.
Surely you have a knowing, perhaps not as developed as mine, but it’s there.

A walking away from what no longer serves you, me too.
And yeah there’s pain, and sadness involved. I don’t think anyone enjoys watching someone else experience pain, well most people don’t enjoy it, though some sickos might.

I know I don’t. I know you don’t too.

I know you. The mask you wear, your protective gear,  to gaurd your tender heart. Don’t you know that heart of yours is what keeps me tethered to you?

I know you.

It will pass difficultly or simply, the time will pass and it will all be fine. Everything will be ok. You’ll see.

Toxic codependent situations have to be left behind, past behaviors, forgiven and forgotten, and sure as hell not repeated, a new beginning hangs on the horizon, in it's Devine timing, bringing peace love and wellbeing. We are meant to have wellbeing, don’t cha know?

Yeah, you know.

Whether it happens or it’s just my intuition on steroids, or better still, acid, windowpain, hallucinating my way through life..better living through chemicals, or even if it’s just to achieve closure,
Know that I love you Dr, and I learned a lot from you.

Mar 14, 2018

Mar 3, 2018

Universal Laws, some of them

3. You always have free will in how you respond to any situation. If you respond with positive emotions, compassion and integrity, you have probably learned your karmic lessons and will not have to experience a similar situation in the future. 

The universal law of free will...number 8, part, 3. 

9. THE LAW OF ONE

Every Soul, living and discarnate, is connected at the level of the collective unconscious, deep within the Higher-Self. We are all part of a great energy gestalt called God, and because we are part of God, we are God. It is the goal of the gestalt to move the energy forward, creating more energy. So, in living harmoniously, we each increase our vibrational rate and intensify the vibration of the entire gestalt. When we are disharmonious, we decrease the vibration of the entire gestalt, because we are one, everything you think, say and do, affects every other Soul.

11. THE UNIVERSAL LAW OF CONSCIOUS DETACHMENT:

Out of acceptance comes involved detachment. The ability to enjoy all the positive aspects of life, but to allow the negative to flow through you with out resistance and without affecting you.  

13. THE UNIVERSAL LAW OF FELLOWSHIP

When two or more people of similar vibration are gathered for a shared purpose, their combined energy directed to the attainment of that purpose is doubled, tripled, quadrupled or more. 

19. THE UNIVERSAL LAW OF ABUNDANCE

You have within yourself everything required to make your earthly incarnation a paradise if you choose to accept that which is your divine birth-right. We live in a Universe of abundance, although the majority of those populating our planet appear to view it as a Universe of scarcity.